1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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