I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She just used a chaser for red wine.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
