Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
