Its about making memories worth repressing
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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