Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
