If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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