so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
