She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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