They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
