So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
