im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
