You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
