Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
im six kinds of drunk right now
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
