Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
