There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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