remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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