let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
