I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I'm passing your future prison.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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