a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
No I am not eating basil off your cock
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
