She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
