Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
