R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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