I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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