but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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