so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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