Your face is a jimmy john
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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