no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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