So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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