this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
