Already got asked if we're dating
too bad you live with your parents still
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
