does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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