I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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