also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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