Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
