I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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