cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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