It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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