he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
