just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
