I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
