i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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