Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
