I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
