That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize