yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
