the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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