You really coming over, don't trick.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
