i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize