If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
im holly from the hills drunk
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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