bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
