**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
