Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
