I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
