JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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