R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
