So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
