so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
