My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My feet surprised me
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