You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
