Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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