remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My nipple is on Facebook.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
